Making Decisions
Once we started talking more about the surgery my breast surgeon presented my options. At least a single mastectomy was on the table, but did I want a double while I was in there anyway? Some are candidates for “nipple sparing” and some aren’t depending on the location of the cancer so that was discussed as well as if I wanted reconstruction. This was discussed early because the plastic surgeon needed to be on board early on so our plan would all be together by the time the surgery day rolled around.
Well, I really didn’t want to have to ever go through this again so there was no question it was going to be a double mastectomy. I told her whatever you do to one side, do to the other. I was already told this kind of cancer had a high recurrence rate so I’d rather do it now than risk starting all over again. Plus I just like symmetry. haha
I definitely wanted reconstruction so it was off to the plastic surgeon. She picked who I was going to so thankfully I ended up liking him. I’m sure I could have protested if I didn’t.
Thinking, Accepting and Doing
By the time my surgery date rolled around I had been thinking about it for 6 months. Imagining all the things that could go wrong, what it might feel like, what it might look like, grieving a part of my body that I didn’t necessarily love, but it was a part of me. I usually think about something scary so much that by the time it comes I’m burned out and done thinking about it. And that’s exactly what happened. I had accepted it and was long done thinking about it. I didn’t have anything left to think about and my brain just dumped it. This actually made the whole thing easier. I was done being sad, I was done being scared and I was done imaging the worst. I just wanted it over with.
The Day Before
The day before my surgery I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon. He drew lines all over me with a purple marker. I had instructions to shower in the morning with antibacterial soap before I went in for my surgery. He said not to worry about the marks, they would remain enough to redraw over them in preop. The incisions were his decision. My breast surgeon was just there to remove the breast tissue then I was fully his patient for the rest of the surgery and my 6 week recovery.
I’m not sure if I got a good night sleep that night like I was told to, but I was going to get a nice nap during my surgery so I wasn’t worried about it.
Items That Helped Me Through…
- Button up shirts from Amazon with inside pockets to hold the drain bulbs
- A little pillow to put between me and the seatbelt in the car
- Ibuprofen and Tylenol
- A wedge pillow or a way to sleep sitting more upright
- Bandeau bras when I was ready to lose the mummy wrap. These were easy to slide up and down for follow up appointments as well as daily at home.
- A handheld shower nozzle, thankfully my shower already had one
- Wound ointment and gauze squares and bandaids